Christian: Can't... fall... in love? But, a life without love, that's... terrible...
Satine: No, being on the street, that's terrible.
Christian: No! Love is like oxygen!
Satine: What?
Christian: Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!
Satine: No, being on the street, that's terrible.
Christian: No! Love is like oxygen!
Satine: What?
Christian: Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!
---
The dialogue above comes from one of my favorite movies, Moulin Rouge (2001), starring Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman. I think it's a nice way to set up this blog entry. It equates love to the very essence of life. (Watch it here... Sidenote: Ewan McGregor steals my heart every time he sings.)
I've given a lot of thought lately to the idea of love. At 25 years old, I've never been in love. I think I've been in love with the idea of being in love, but I've never been in love. That begs the question though - what IS love?
"Society" has a misconstrued conception of what love actually is. We use the term so freely that it really has lost its true meaning, I think. We love other people, we love our pets, we love...just about everything. Maybe it's the limitations of the English language that has sort of collapsed meanings into one catch-all term, but I find it problematic. Here's why:
Exhibit A. Cute video... but the underlying message is questionable. Especially if you happen to read any of the comments from other YouTube users. Watch:
Yes, these kids are cute. Yes, they're (somewhat innocently) showing each other affection. It's cute. Woohoooo! But -- do they understand why people "kiss on the lips" -- do they understand the ramifications that one kiss has? And what it could lead to? I'm not trying to be the self-righteous, militant, unaccepting person who chastises everything just because I can; and yes, the adult figure you hear discouraging the kids from kissing is there. I'll give the video that. It just bothers me that these kids are like... 6 years old. In fact -- forget that, the kids in this video are fine. It's just that this video represents how sexuality is permeating society at younger and younger ages. What happened to the innocence of today's youth?
Exhibit B. Kind of goes along with Exhibit A. It's troublesome to me that middle schoolers are "in relationships" with other middle schoolers, and worse yet, "playing the field" which ultimately means playing with the emotions of all parties involved.
What are we to do about this? Honestly...I have no idea. Society, media -- what have you -- are perpetuating this phenomenon... and twisting the notion of love into something that is becoming more and more indistinguishable. What is happening to my love story?
I am 25 years old. I've never been "in a relationship." And I've only kissed one guy. When most people discover this about me, they probably think - what's wrong with her? In fact, I used to question it myself: What's WRONG with me that I can't seem to find a boyfriend? Am I ugly? Am I too fat? Honestly, it definitely hasn't done much for the self-esteem. It's devastating to think that other girls may be having these same thoughts -- and it really stinks that these kinds of thoughts even run through a girl's head (or a guy's head, for that matter!) It's tough enough to negotiate growing up and becoming an adult, but to be plagued by questions of self-worth just because a guy (or girl) hasn't shown interest in you (yet)... THAT is not what defines your self-worth! But.. in today's society, this so-called "love" is the epitome of what it means to be accepted. Again, what is happening to my love story?
I hope one day to fall in love. Real love. The kind of love that is divine, unconditional, self-sacrificing, and thoughtful. Akin to the kind of love that GOD as for all of His children. If it's in God's will for me, I hope to meet a man who completes me - who helps me to become a better person, who helps me to attain Heaven ... and in turn, I help him to attain Heaven as well. And I hope that we can then spread that love to our family centered on Christ. Is that setting my standards too high? I hope not. Because I refuse to change my love story for the tangled mess that seems to be all too often portrayed in the mass media.
[Disclaimer: That's not to say that the kind of love I'm describing doesn't exist in the world today. It does - it's just becoming increasingly more difficult to find...]
+JMJ+
2 comments:
When I was younger, I lamented to a dear friend about my unreturned affections for a certain someone. He assured me that although the rejection was difficult, God had something/someone much better for me. He was right on the money. (I recognized soon thereafter that the other relationship would have been disastrous.) It is difficult to be patient, not knowing if/when our knight will come, but since you're looking for THE REAL THING (as evidenced in your last paragraph), you are sure to not be disappointed. God bless you!
Thanks Mary! You know too well my strife and struggles with this very topic. Thanks for being that dear friend who listens to me bellyache about my unreturned affections and wee crushes! Hopefully I haven't been too annoying with them.
Deep down, I know you're right about being patient with God's timing and not being disappointed... I like to think I'm being preserved for when (not if) my time comes. :)
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